


Unconventional

by jillyfae



Series: Incorrigible [5]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 10:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillyfae/pseuds/jillyfae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Timing is everything.  Supposedly.   Not that Ella Shepard's ever been very good at it ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unconventional

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally inspired by an exchange in a collaborative ME1 AU fic I'm writing, so I included it for reference ... Ella apologizes via baked goods. It's a thing.
>
>> "So..." Ella Shepard leaned carefully against the bulkhead, a covered plate balanced on both hands in front of her.
>> 
>> "Commander." Moreau shot one quick glance sideways before returning to his monitors.
>> 
>> Which had to be dull, being in dock and all, but he was pretty good at pretending otherwise.
>> 
>> "I am, from the stories my folks used to tell, a lot like my mother." Joker's tapping fingers stilled, his head slightly cocked as he listened. She was pretty sure he'd noticed how rarely any Shepard mentioned family. "Same hair, same eyes, same short temper. Same foot in mouth disease." That got a slight cough out of him, and he tilted his chair just enough to keep an eye on her. "Of course, her apologies usually came with cookies, and, well, Julia isn't quite that cooperative, but I did my best." She carefully set her plate on the currently dark tech station beside him. "Sorry, Moreau. I know perfectly well you are brilliant, and reliable, and not a con man. For all your smart mouth doesn't usually know when to shut up."
>> 
>> "Something we have in common, then?" A hint of smile twitched across his face, and she grinned, relief loosening the breath in her chest.
>> 
>> "Suppose so." Ella lifted the wrap off the top of her plate, displaying the sliced up loaf of molasses bread. "I tried banana bread first, but the 'chef appears to have... trouble with fruit." _I may never be able to smell bananas again._ "The texture was right though, nice and dense, so quick bread appears to be within the realm of possibility. Don't worry, I tried a slice, it tastes likes it's supposed to. And hasn't sent me running off to Chakwas."
>> 
>> "Yet?"
>> 
>> "So far, so good. Best I can manage."
>> 
>> "Guess it'll have to do, then," Joker's sigh was belied by how quickly he reached out and snagged a piece, leaning back in his chair as he took a bite. "Ahmmgd," he mumbled past a mouth full of crumbs, "mmrry me?"
>> 
>> "What?"
>> 
>> "Well, seemed rude to ask you to follow me around the galaxy making me food, without offering something in return," Joker shrugged, his gaze fixed on the rest of the chunk of bread in his hand. Which he then proceeded to shove into his mouth in its entirety, followed quickly by a hard swallow, way too much going down his throat at once, causing a very unhappy gargling sort of choking sound. He held a hand up when she took one hasty step in his direction, shaking his head as she hovered in the middle of the cockpit until he finally started coughing. "Please, God," he managed a few moments later. "Don't thump me on the back to help it go down, you'd crack a rib."
>> 
>> "I would n- ok, maybe I would." She felt her sigh shudder past her lips, curved up slightly in an uncertain smile. "I'd lug you down to med-bay afterwards, though, promise?"
>> 
>> "You better. Your fault, after all." Rather than his typical brash grin, he smiled back, just the slightest curve of his mouth softening his usually sharp gaze.  
> 
> 
> [ _Persephone Rising_ ](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6261542/40/Persephone-Rising)

Ella Shepard sighed, tired of reading fine print, putting her 'pad beside her and leaning her head back until she thumped it gently against the display case she was using as a backrest.   _Sitting on top of the desk may not have been the cleverest decision I ever made.  Not that comfortable._  She glanced sideways, smiling at the man who had taken over her desk chair, searching for something or other on the extranet.   _Nice view, though._  "Think we'll have to argue with someone, to keep the _Normandy_?"  
  
"Eh?" Joker grunted, lifting his head from the console in the middle of the L-shaped desk to turn and look at her.  
  
"After, you know.  Reapers.  Assuming we win, and we're not dead, and all that, do you think they'll let us take the _Normandy_ when we retire?"  
  
Joker snorted, amusement crinkling his face, laugh lines deepening around his eyes as he smiled.  "Like to see 'em try to pry us out of the _Normandy_.  Don't think they'll have much luck."  
  
"Mmm," she sighed, smiling back at him.  "Sounds nice, doesn't it?  Just zipping around the galaxy, whenever, wherever, no desperate tragedy to be averted.  We could go to Grissom's Parade, on Elysium.  I haven't seen that in years."  
  
Joker chuckled softly, pushing back a little and stretching his back.  "They'll probably be inviting you to be in the Parade, you know.  The infamous Butcher, Commander, Spectre, Savior, Captain, Hero Eleanora Grace Shepard."  His voice dropped, one palm smoothing through the air as he impersonated an old-fashioned marquee.  "Champion of the Galaxy, for All to See!"  
  
"Don't think you won't be getting a few of those invites yourself, mister."  Ella leaned forward, just a little.  "Fancy flying looks very good on the news vids."  
  
"Nah," he shrugged, eyes twinkling.  "I'll just be the +1 on the bottom of your invites.   _Please bring that pilot fellow who helped you out, he makes you look taller on stage_."  
  
"I don't think so, not if they want me to answer them."  
  
"Oh? What would they have to say, if Champion doesn't get your panties wet?"  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Moreau?"  Ella suggested softly, her voice low and husky.  "You always get my panties wet."  
  
His whole body stilled, his eyes hot as he stared at her face, and oh, how she loved doing that.  Joker was always busy, doing three things at once, watching screens and tapping on his console and adjusting his hat and those eyes, always moving, always watching.  Except, every once in a while, when she managed to surprise him, and all that energy was focused exclusively on her.  
  
He gave the desk a practiced shove, the chair rolling across the short stretch of floor until he stopped, right in front of her, chest just past her knees, head tilted as he looked up at her, _and isn't that just my favorite spot for him, right between my legs_. Palms landed on her thighs, fingers spread, and she purred, just a little, in the back of her throat, as his fingers dug gently into the muscles beneath them.  
  
"Did you just ask me to marry you, Ella?"  
  
"Nah," she blinked, slowly, smiling, smug and warm and content.  "You asked me years ago, and I just realized I never answered."  
  
His eyes narrowed in thought, but there was a hint of a  smile curving the edges of his mouth so she simply waited.  
  
And almost burst out laughing when she could see him figure out what she was talking about, eyes widening and lips smirking.  "You owe me more food, then, babe.  That was the deal.  I get baked goods, you get me."  
  
"I definitely got the better end of that bargain," she whispered as she leaned forward to kiss him, slow and gentle.  One of his hands lifted off her leg to cup the back of her head, careful not to tug her hair, his lips soft and warm against her mouth as he drew out their kiss.  
  
"Pretty sure I'm coming out on top on this one," Joker murmured as he slid his mouth sideways, dropping one final kiss on her cheek.  "Since you getting me is just as good for me, plus I get dessert."  He grinned at her as she snickered.  "Though, if we're officially all engaged now, we should celebrate.  You need to be much more naked."  
  
"I think I can manage that."


End file.
